”Jess… I’m so sorry…”
There are things sorry could never fix. Death and heartbreak were two of the top contenders in that category. Simon’s death… Jessica’s sorry that night had never made up for that. It never really could. And that moment haunted her every single day. For two years – maybe for the rest of her life. This… this was no different. Kai had just shattered Jessica’s heart into more pieces than she could put back together. Sorry wasn’t a magical fix to the situation and it never would be. He couldn’t fix this. Hell, she, herself, couldn’t fix this. She never could. Maybe she had always been too broken to love. But even if that wasn’t true, even if there was some speck of her that could be loved; Kai made sure that any fragment that was left was… well… gone.
Part of her wanted to believe his words. As awful as it was; her heart still ached for him. She hated him with every being of her body… but that didn’t stop her from loving him too. And it was that exact fact that made the whole situation worse. That was the problem, it just hurt so damn much. The pain was truly all-encompassing and excruciating. Perhaps that’s why she couldn’t help the tears streaming down her eyes. Because despite everything Jessica had been through in her life. This hurt more than anything else ever had. She didn’t have anything to say to him – she couldn’t get the words out. Though when he revealed every time he had manipulated her; it only reinforced the idea that he truly didn’t care for her. You don’t do that… any of that to people you care for. Hell, you don’t do that to anyone. With the last statement, her eyes closed as her mind connected the pieces. Blue Royalty had sent the message… because of Kai. Because he and his family fcking owned the game. A game she had always hated. And honestly; if anything, this was just another task. A bloody task, maybe not from the game but the rules were the same. Manipulate the people you care about. And this time, Jess was in the crossfire.
Jess’ arms were wrapped around her body; a protective mechanism to close herself off from the world. From him. And maybe at one point… he was her world. She couldn’t… do it anymore. At his last words, she looked at him. “Maybe it was real for you, Kai…” she let out, “… because I was always myself with you. I never lied to you… not once. I… would never lie to you…” she continued, wiping more tears from her eyes. “But I never fell in love with a real person. I fell in love with someone who doesn’t exist…” she continued, taking a deep breath; trying to hold in the sob that begged to escape her quivering lips. “…and I don’t even know how to explain how much that hurts Kai. It’s like you ripped my heart out of my chest and decided to let it wither in your hands.” She let out finally, running her hands through her hair as she started to move away from him and towards the door that led back to the party.
“I’m done… with you and… your family. With all of it. Don’t touch anyone I care about, Malachi… if that’s even your name.” Jess added. Walking towards the door, she stopped for a moment. Her mind running through everything… all of their memories. The laughs, the way he held her, the way she felt around him. Gone, in an instant. Turning towards him one last time; she met his eyes again. “Tell Anna whatever you need to tell her to keep your family safe,” she whispered; and with that – she walked through the doors and back to the party, keeping her head down as she moved towards the exit. She didn’t even wait for the elevator; Jess simply started moving down the stairs.
She didn’t break down until the cold air of the March wind hit her for the second time. At first, she broke out in a run; taking the damn heels off and just ran until she couldn’t breathe anymore. Though soon; she moved towards the nearby alleyway – far away from the public; falling to the cement floor. Her hands wrapped around her legs, moving into a fetal position as she cried. She didn’t want to move anymore. Every single part of her body hurt as she thought back to what Kai had said. To all the fcking red flags Jess had ignored because she fell in love with him.
She didn’t know how long she was there; though her eyes were blurry when she moved her head out of her legs and looked around. Maybe a minute? Maybe an hour? Maybe multiple hours? All she knew was there she was; sitting in the same place she had been with blood on her hands from the stitches that had opened up when she slapped Kai. The night was a peaceful one – the sky filled with stars, the crickets filling the night air. Though none of that mattered because all Jessica wanted… was for it to stop hurting. Her eyes settled on a broken glass bottle and for a moment, picking the item up in her bloodied fingers, she almost considered it. Being done with it all. Because at least she would feel something; a numb sensation settling around her body. But any choice she was mentally debating was gone as she found a notification on her phone from her little siblings. If there was one reason, she couldn’t do it – it was them. So instead, she simply put the bottle down, pushing it away from her, and focused her attention on the device. Only having about 10 percent left though that didn’t matter to her. She didn’t care if it died. Hell, part of her didn’t care if she froze to death right there in the alleyway.
Jess moved slowly; looking through it, somehow finding herself on the contact page as her favorites showed up first. Andy McAllister stared at her as the first name and her tears started falling harder. The way Andy had, in an odd way, did a similar thing that Kai had. Though she had asked for it. She had asked to be hurt so maybe… maybe she deserved all of this. Her good finger hovered above his name… clicking it for a second but as the call started going in, she immediately hung up. Like Kai, she just couldn’t. It hurt too much to talk to the man and she didn’t know what to say. Instead; her finger moved towards the second name she saw, pressing call to Dorian DeLoughrey as she fell beside her floor, throwing it in front of her as she found herself in fetal position once again.
She listened to the rings. One… two… three click. “Dori…” she whispered; her voice wracked with emotion as she didn’t say anything for a long time after saying his name, letting the tears fall from her face. She wasn’t listening to what he was saying; honestly, she didn’t even know if he had heard her. Or if had hung up. But after a few minutes, she finally said her next words. “… I need you…”
@astxrism - idk if you’re ever free
@Littlefeets - HMPH
@CerealKiller - McDad
