Well, yes, I’m giving you feedback
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If you can’t find ANYTHING positive at all and are just gonna judge, it’s not feedback. And I can see now that everything you say is gonna be negitive.
Cause some parents be like that
I’m honestly not sure myself, a friend helped me write this, and that was her dialogue writing. So 
I’m going to step in here and say that feedback doesn’t have to be positive or negative, you have asked for honest feedback so that is what is being delivered to you. We have made our rules on accepting critisism very clear so please don’t tone police. Or this thread will have to be shut down.
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And I’m trying, but it’s not so easy given the fact that I’m used to people nitpicking every aspect of my story to be rude being kinda defensive has become a bit of a second nature at this point. But I’m trying to break myself of it.
It’s not being defensive it’s tone policing
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But this is an HONEST feedback thread. So you will get HONEST feedback.
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I need to read the scene but in writing… the readers don’t know what’s going on! SO it’s up to you as the writer to portray that in the scene… If it’s not portrayed somehow it just doesn’t exist…
Read it:
And tbh I’m not seeing signs of her getting triggered in the scene… I’m not a psychologist or anything but you’d think that if she went something like that she wouldn’t be openly talking about it like that. I know people are different but yeah. I think that that kind of thing is something that victims probably talk about when they feel like they’re in a safe environment… I’ve heard people IRL joke about serious traumas because that was their way of dealing but they were doing it an environment where they felt that the feedback was recieved.
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Nobody here it critisizing this scene as a way to attack you personally. I can understand that there are things which can make you defensive and I applaud you for trying to break out of it but as I have stated, please don’t tone police or the thread will be shut down. I will be closely monitoring this.
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It’s at the end, where she starting screaming “shut up”
Yes, but why would she bother being nice at that point
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Anna is calm, nice, and WAY too forgiving. And Anna’s main trigger is getting yelled, or screamed at.
But when she’s talking about it, give her more signs of being triggered. Because it’s hard to talk about things like trauma. And especially to someone whom she’s not very close to.
@Allie my advice if you can’t handle the criticism is to take a few moments for yourself. No one here dislikes you and no one is trying to hurt you. If you can’t handle honest feedback, don’t ask for it.
You might need to just log off for a little while and take a bit of time to meditate or do something you like to do. Come back when you’re ready to accept feedback and not get too defensive. If you can’t handle it, ask for your thread to be closed, because if this becomes a repeat of the last thread I closed, you have two strikes on your record for the same thing. One more and you will be silenced.
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And to be honest I don’t like that the triggering is almost used as a way for her to be comforted… Like yeah. like I haven’t experienced anything with heavy traumas but I do have anxiety over trauma that I have experienced in the past and with me as a person I’d feel mortified if a person saw me crying or hugged me like that because I want to keep all my emotions inside and not let it show. Again, people are different, but I’ve noticed with a lot of people it’s that way. And I’ve also seen with different people when they get triggered or something is going on - especially if it’s regular, sometimes people in their life wanna create a normal environment for them where they’re calm and stuff. For me personally if people notice the problem or what’s going on and I see that it makes it 100% worse unless i’m asking for help.
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But wouldn’t another trigger be talking about it?
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No, it’s not, it’s to reveal to Eli’s parents her trauma.
With that in mind, if anything that anyone says falls in line with our definition of bullying or harassment, I will punish them, too. This is nothing against you.
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