[[𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩⟡]]
Her fingers could not help themselves but to still grip the door knob as she talked to Renlin. He had told her that he needed to talk to someone who knew that he was not completely crazy, and she had questioned him, asking if she was that person and if he thought that she was a person. His response was that he used to think so, and he hoped so, making Thalia grip the knob tighter. Her tan skin flushed a deeper shade.when he let out a small laugh, asking if she would have answered if he either called or texted. No was the answer, as the call would be sent directly to her voicemail instead of to her. Still, she said, “Who knows?” She did and the answer was not.
She continued to toy with the doorknob, perhaps about to close it, as after all, she had confirmed he was not completely crazy, which was what he was here for, correct? But it seemed he had other motives. He had greeted her, his tone settling into his usual smooth and relaxed demeanor, as he shifted the tone of the conversation, he had apologized for his unexpected visit, then had asked her to take a little night stroll care to join me. “Someone might see us ,” She said as her mind raced, “Someone might find out,” The someone being Inessa. “I don’t think…” She paused as she glanced at him, something in her not wanting to say no. “But I suppose we can be discreet about it,” She proposed, her resolve wavering as her hands dropped from the doorknob. She said nothing, for some time, before she closed the door, and opened it again. When she opened it though, she had a light brown jacket, and some oxford style shoes. “Well,” The corners of her lips tugged to a small smile, “Are we going on the stroll or not.” She just hoped no one would see them.
He gestured them towards the hallway, stepping aside, so she can pass first. That, of course, had earned him a small smile from Thalia- for she was grateful that she wouldn’t have to speed to keep up with him. He had very long legs. As she walked, she had heard him whisper something from behind her-something she could not quite hear well. All she had heard was the phrase, you know and she wondered what sentence he had used with that. Had it been: you know, nothing bad is about to happen or you know, I never understood you or perhaps was it a confession? She did not know, but she let herself mused as they departed the campus. Getting far away from any body that might see them- getting far away from Inessa.
She was glad. Glad, because it removed the fear from her mind- the fear of being caught. Now in her mind, the only thing remaining was curiosity. She was curious, awfully so. She wondered where they were going? Where was he taking her too? But her wondering left as soon as they came as she familiarized with the place. She knew this place, it was almost like a safe haven for the two of them, when they were… together.
They approached the house, and before they went in, Thalia had said: “I miss this place,” She admitted, her hands pressing against the door, before she turned to him, the corners of her lips crinkling into a little smile, “Thank you for bringing me here.”
“Come on, Thals, you know here there is always some sort of suspense. Just embrace it! ” There was indeed always some sort of suspense, in Wyndham, both good and bad. But ultimately, Renlin was talking about the good, so Thalia tried to stray her mind from thinking about the bad, with a soft chuckle, as she placed her hands inside the pocket of her sweater.
“What would you do if I don’t,” She teased with a light laugh, shaking her head. “But I guess you’re right. What’s life without a little mystery, huh?” She leaned in slightly, her smile softening.
The light banter had gone on, and when Renlin had said something that reminded Thalia so much of the past, the period before their relationship, she had countered with something similar she had said before- the feeling of nostalgia deep upon her. He had admitted, that indeed he couldn’t. That specific comment had brought a rush of embarrassment up Thalia’s face, as she tried not to smile. She had felt a mix of conflicted emotions at the comment- amusement, perhaps some adoration and definitely guilt. She didn’t know what she was doing, what they were doing, knowing that there was a very slim chance for a them due to Thalia and her fears. But she told herself, it was just fun, they were just having fun and she definitely deserved to have a little fun, after all that had happened to her.
He had held the door open for her, inviting her in, and she gave him a girlish look, “Quite the gentleman, are you?” She said her voice a lightest as she stepped inside into the chaotic place that was his room. She was not one to judge, after all, her room was far more chaotic, with notes scribbled in in a language only she understood on the walls, and candles everywhere. She had always wanted to be organized, but she couldn’t find it in herself to truly be organized- or at least, in a way normal people thought of the word organized. She was organized in how she kept her important things, the way she arranged them and the way she even arranged her mess. It was laid out in a way that simply worked for her and gave her a strange sense of comfort.
Moreover, Renlin’s words about needing to ask herself the question lingered in the air, mixing with the scent of stale coffee and ink. She felt a pang of unease; he was always so adept at turning questions back on her, making her confront her own feelings and decisions. “Ren…” She began with a sigh, “I don’t want to hurt you,” Nor string you along. "But that’s easier said than done though. Sometimes, I don’t even know what I want. I just know that I don’t want to be caught in the middle of…everything.” She paused, unsure if she should continue, but the words escaped her lips anyway. “You say you’ll do whatever I want or need, but what about what you want? Do you even know what that is?” She took a few steps closer, her gaze lingering on the chaos that surrounded them. It was as if the mess mirrored her own tangled thoughts—conflicted, disorganized, and not quite ready to be sorted out. The light from the overhead lamp cast shadows that danced across the clutter, making the room feel more alive than she remembered.
She shook her head, sitting on his bed, “Let’s not think about that now,” She didn’t know whether she was talking to herself or Renlin. “How was your day, how are you feeling?” She asked, hoping to change the subject.