Share Your Dating Horror Stories

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Have you ever had an awful experience while dating someone? Here’s a place to vent about all those terrible stories and know that you’re not alone!

I have quite a few that I’m going to be sharing over the course of this thread, though I’m going to be avoiding talk about my abusive ex. That’s just to keep things light-hearted and silly, rather than downright upsetting. I don’t wanna bring the mood down!

I’m completely open to discussing it, though. So if you want to portray abuse properly in a story, you fear you might be in an abusive relationship, you want to know the warning signs for the future or you just have some questions to ask, please feel free to drop me a PM!

My Experience #1

I was seeing this guy. It didn’t lead anywhere. We went on one date and we were flirting quite heavily. We had never been intimate – thank god – but we were being quite open with one another about the fact that we were attracted to each other.

Then one day, he turns around and says to me “You know? You’re quite hot for a black girl”.

Um.

Hold up.

For one, I’m not black. I’m mixed. Easy mistake to make so I’m going to let that slide.

But what the hell do you mean by “for a black girl”?!

What, aren’t black women usually hot? Does my brownness somehow put me on a lesser level of hotness than white women?

Him: “You should take it as a compliment, babe. You know Bonnie from Vampire Diaries? Well, you remind me of her and she’s, like, almost as hot as Elena”

Yeah. Keep digging that hole, honey.

So I got upset. Apparently, I was being stupid and unreasonable. He still tries to slide into my DMs occasionally.

The thing is that I could have forgiven him if he didn’t actually mean what it seemed like he meant. But he doubled down! I’ve had so many experiences of people who fixate on my skin colour when they try to date me. Why even bring it up in the first place? I wasn’t even thinking about my race until then. Why do you need to compare me to white women? Why can’t I just be me?!

Dumb guy is still single 6 years later. I wonder why? He sure has a magic way of speaking to women. :roll_eyes:

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Wtf. How can someone be hot for a black girl? Being hot has nothing to do with race and skin colour.

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Oh, OK. It’s like he said (indirectly) that “black women aren’t hot.”

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Tell me about it! I laugh now, but back then I was in a school where I was actually not “the type” for most of the guys there. The type being white women, of course. So it really did upset me because I thought I’d never be seen as attractive thanks to the colour of my skin :expressionless:

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Exactly! It’s hilarious now, but he was basically implying that black women are less attractive than white women :grimacing:

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Yeah. I mean, black women can be charismatic.

But what important now is that you’ve got a boyfriend who loves you regardless of your skin color :grinning::wink:

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Anyone can be charismatic. Anyone can be attractive! And I have no problem with some people being more attracted to one race in general, but telling me that I’m attractive for a black woman makes it sound like I’m a consolation prize or something. Like it’s just a fact of life that women of colour are never going to be as attractive as white women

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AND WHY EVEN DATE ME THEN IF I’M NOT AS ATTRACTIVE AS WHITE WOMEN?!

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So when I was about 16-17 (this was when I got into my first long-term relationship that I won’t go into similar to Shannii), I was far in aways more political than I am now. And it just drew the wrath of a Terrifying monster apparently. One of my first forays into dating and she was a strange non-binary gender I’d never heard of, she had personalised pronouns I couldn’t pronounce and got upset when people didn’t understand them upon first talking to her, she was a huge nerd which was nice, but only for very niche things. And, of course, she was a raging feminazi who liked to talk at length about how much she hated men :upside_down_face:

Why she agreed to a date was beyond me if she hated men so much, lol. The problem was because I was so politically charged back then I’d agree with a lot of what she said, get heated over the same things, etc. I didn’t realise what made me so super uncomfortable and it was the man hatred stuff :joy:

Of course I was coming up 17 and had never been in a relationship so when I brought up the subject of sex it was a deal breaker when she told me monogamy was a tool of the establishment meant to hold women down :joy: and that she didn’t ever want to sleep with a man, only other women. I was like lulbye

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Exactly! Saying that dark skinned women can never be as attractive as white women is pretty discriminating, if you ask me.
We are human beings. Jeez…

You’re mixed - not black. Being someone whose one of her parent is a black person doesn’t make you black, even if your skin color is darker like your parent - you are mixed.

Oh, man. :woman_facepalming:t4: People should know how to word things correctly :roll_eyes:

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Oh, man. Swear to me that it happened :sweat_smile::sweat_smile:.
That girl didn’t make sense at all. Kinda funny.

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Well I guess the term first the worst is the best way to sum this experience up. I dated him ages 13-14 and I had so little social skills or experience, I was also going through puberty as was he. We were both terrible. We argued all the time, everything was a competition yet when it ended he denied all responsibility and played the victim so well nobody really liked me much after that :joy::joy::joy: fun times.

He is the only one I’m not friends with simply for the fact he acts like he did nothing wrong. At least I can admit the stuff I did.

Either way we were just kids, it lasted 10 months and he still talks about it.

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Thankfully, no. Not only that - I’ve never went on a date with anyone.

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Nope. But I’ve heard stories!

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I dont have a horror story. but my only ever tinder date was an hour late and had to leave five minuts after he came

and then wondered why I did not wanna talk with him again.

also I did not actually wanna meet up. but he keept asking instead of talking said we could talk when we meet

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I was so late for my first date with @ChaoticDeluge :grimacing::grimacing::grimacing:

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It was worth it :3

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I had a boyfriend for 14 months but we never went on a date

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Yikes

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That sounds shady as hell though!

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