Then what is it then if you say a bad word like that but don’t have any bad intent with it?
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Your point was that you can say a slur as long as it doesn’t gave a bad intent. That doesn’t mean a slur loses its definition. You CANNOT and I can’t stress this enough, CANNOT say a slur isn’t used negatively all the time if that’s the definition of a slur and what makes a slur.
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That’s as if I said “You can say n*gger as long as you’re not using it against anyone. 
”. That makes no sense. It doesn’t matter what I use it for or how anyone else does, privately or publicly, it’s still a slur and a negative word.
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Racism, specifically anti black racism, is more way more complex than this. If you subconsciously or consciously believe you are entitled as a non black person to use a slur against black people you are still complicit in it antiblackness, in public or in private. Someone thinking I am an n word in private is just as damaging as saying it to my face. I am still “lesser” than that person regardless of where they express my inferiority.
Because they’re still participating in antiblack racism and saying it in the comfort of behind closed doors normalises the slur. Once a bigot is comfortable practicing their bigotry in private they will eventually practice it outside their comfort zone. That small group of friends might expand, or might amp up their “jokes” and no one will call them out. They won’t want to be called out because what they think they’re saying is normal. If you want a deeper explanation of this I recommend watching the “Rebranding of White Nationalism” and the “Pewdiepiepipeline” on YouTube.
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Also–
I do agree with this but at the same time, if something is naturally offensive and YOU just don’t understand, get why, or think it is, doesn’t mean that it isn’t at all. Slurs especially.
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Is there a line between making fun of the word to shed light on how it’s used and actually using the word in a bad way?
Yes…If the people whose the slur is used against makes fun of it, it’s fine. If you’re not apart of that group that’s being called it and try to, that just makes you look ignorant. 
Because the slur was used against them from the people OUTSIDE of their group. It’s different if they use it jokingly compared to everyone else. Because of history.
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Ah okay. I’m not going to use the word and if someone says it I will tell them to stop. I’ve always thought of it as if you’re saying something like that in private as long as you don’t have any bad intent with it, it’s fine, but now I understand more why it’s not because it shouldn’t be normalized to marginalize certain groups.
I always understood that you shouldn’t use those certain groups cuz it can make people feel marginalized but I thought if it was in private it would just hypothetically stay in private and just stare there forever, but even if it doesn’t slip out it’ll still be normalized and it will be harder to recognize when someone is using it against someone else.
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Different places have different mind sets about it. It’s a non-issue for alot of people. It’s perplexing that people just let it be. Like, is their opinion on it not valid?
And you’re right about it not being down to black people to educate. I educated myself through documentaries and my natural love history (the good and bad).
Not sure how long it would take for certain communities to take the initiative for change.
Hope I’m not coming off as argumentative, it’s more so that I’m curious about the different opinions here.
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Wow…Just wow…
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I didn’t say it was harmful. I just said I don’t see a point. Just bc ppl don’t hear, doesn’t mean it’s right or okay, lol. That’s on your conscience
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That’s not good. You should care. That’s what wrong with this society nowadays. People don’t care. It might just be a word to you, but walk in my shoes for one day and you’ll see. It’s not just a word. It’s a word with a hateful meaning behind it. Imagine everyday having to deal with hearing something that offends you. That hurts you. And knowing that people won’t ever stop saying it. That no matter where you go, you’ll always hear it. That’s how I feel everyday. Think about that next time you decide to use that word. Maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll keep using it without a problem. Just bc you aren’t racist, doesn’t mean it’s okay to say. Even if you don’t necessarily mean it in a hateful way. It’s still not okay to say, especially with the meaning behind it and the fact that it hurts some people.
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The fact she even made that comment and found nothing wrong with it, I–
Imma just head on out 
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Facts. Like I’m honestly so done. I can’t.
Not even trying to be mean, I just can’t. Nope.
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No offense to you but this is why I never wanted to discuss a topic like this. This is why. 
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None taken. I didn’t want to either tbh. I was very hesitant for a while to make this topic. Although at least we can see how everyone really feels now.
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True colors had to be shown some day.
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Ah, getting into some controversial discussions here. 
Alright, I have a lot to unpack with this.
Personally, for myself I don’t feel comfortable using the word at all in day to day language though I will sometimes find myself singing along to music by African American Artists that uses it (n—a, for reference) and then I feel guilty. 
As a white woman I believe the word isn’t for me. In any shape or form regardless of the “er” the “a” whatever. It’s a word with a lot of racial history and terrible racial history at that.
I’m a bit on the fence about people of African decent using it as a means of taking back power since I think it starts to make the lines blurred. In song lyrics for example, because I like HUMBLE by Kendrick Lamar which uses it for example but I’m always on the fence as to whether it’s alright to use while singing along or singing along in my head, etc.
I think The Real did a really good job of discussing this when the Gina Rodriguez scandal happened so I’ll link that: here.
I think in a perfect world it wouldn’t be used at all, just because it’s something no one person seems to agree completely on and also other racial slurs don’t seem (maybe I’m wrong?) to get quite the same attention as this one does. Because a lot of people seem to be looking for reasons to use it/be able to manipulate it to use it “in a non-racist way” and I don’t see that happening with other racial slurs.
Truth be told, it probably shouldn’t be happening/being used at all, but I get it’s a word with a lot of layers and history.
I wish I had a better answer. I feel as if this makes no sense. 
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I think I agree with you on this at least now lol, “Because a lot of people seem to be looking for reasons to use it/be able to manipulate it to use it “in a non-racist way” and I don’t see that happening with other racial slurs.”
I think it’s becoming more normalized.
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