What Do You Guys Think Of This Scene?

Writing Desk Archive
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So tell me something guys, I’ve asked others for help on this and I want to know everyone’s view on it as well. So, I have a scene which is in my sneak peak for my upcoming story.

Now, this is further in the story, so the MC is talking to the bartender asking questions, and just a simple discussion. A character is drunk right, while the MC was talking to the bartender and the drunk guy friend was warning him not to do anything stupid but to go outside to control his liquor, but the character who’s drunk wanted more ale or beer, so he went to the bartender desk where the MC was talking to, and the drunk guy couldn’t control himself, so slap MC butt n the MC got angry n start fighting with him to defend himself.

There will me a message and a warning for that scene, what do you guys think, and there’s going to be a little comedy in that scene too.

Thanks to @JemU776 @AMagic @MissHaze and @Hijiko on Episode Forums. :heavy_heart_exclamation:

Also, @Badass_Saasha n @Kiwi, thx for letting me add a warning there.

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Not trying to be that person but that’s sexual assault and there should be not a lot humor in that scene. It’ll look like you’re not taking it seriously. I’m saying this because many authors tend to do that but it’s a serious offense.

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And add a trigger warning as well too.

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the first part of the scene when he’s drunk will have a little humor, but not that much humor, and yeah, I’m also checking on episode forums about others discussing sexual assault portrayed in stories because I know others have encountered this before, and, im taking note and asking what others might need to say on it as well.

:+1: Thanks.

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Also, if u want to see how I have it, I’ll send the link to show.

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Sure.

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In that screne, where the character slaps the butt, there shouldn’t be comedy, at all. Instead, raise awareness and teach what should really happen in a situation like this, because sexual assalt is not something you can joke about, so it’s preffered not to put any kind of humor in this very scene, it’s like normalizing sexual assalt and it’s obviously wrong.

Hope this helps :+1:

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Thanks @StarMaryGoth :+1::smile:

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Of course, anything to help :kissing_heart:

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Should I take out the part where character was drunk asking for more rum/beer or thats okay?

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No, i think that’s ok :+1:

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And making it humor because it’s a man that’s the victim spreads the wrong kinda message as well.

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Thanks, thank God for @ShanniiWrites for making this forums to talk about serious topics to learn about and other things.

In which part? The butt slap, drunk part, or where the other character said “he’s doomed.”. :thinking::thinking::thinking::thinking:

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The whole scene of him getting slapped on the butt, which is sexual assault. :face_with_raised_eyebrow:

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Thanks, I was a little confused .

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Is it the part with the sound that u think makes it humor because that part shouldn’t be. :thinking:

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Yes

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Adding sound effects like that does make it humor. If you want it to be more tense then add different music to it.

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Good tip, hm…or maybe I can add something different rather than the butt slap to make it seem like it could be something else tht their fighting about like a spilling a drink.

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Then it would be a sexual assault scene then. If that’s what you don’t want.

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