Iāll give you every cookie
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Iām going back to sleep. Peace out. See you if I ever wake up.
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a very long post by duckling nobody asked for. Don't read if you don't want to read my opinion.
So, from what Iām seeing so far (sorry if Iām wrong, Iām not reading through this whole thread), both sides seem to be overreacting a bit. The confessor apologized for what they said, so even if no one owes them an apology, itās still not the right solution to make this blow up so much. I get that itās hard for Shannii to keep this place alive, but the people here are not obligated to support the forums 100%, as sad and harsh as it seems. Guilt tripping and blaming them for expressing interest for something isnāt going to solve anything. The people who were interested in the idea probably didnāt mean any harm and just expressed their opinion. You could have maybe let things calm down and think about how you could implement the idea of ātheir forumā on here, so the community wouldnāt split and grow instead. If we all worked together instead of suggesting/promoting a new forum (which they didnāt really do, as they didnāt post any links and just had a vague suggestion), we could implement all our eyemazing ideas and make this forum an eyemazing place for everyone.
Everyoneās feelings are valid, so both making Shannii or the confessor feel like theirs arenāt is wrong. But behind every confession is a human too, so invalidating their feelings is badā¦ Thereās a difference between criticism and just telling people that their opinions and feelings arenāt valid. And think about it, the person probably had a reason for posting their confession anonymously. Iām not trying to say that the confessor is right, because they obviously still did something that could be considered against the forum rules, but ranting about all your personal problems in reply to an āinnocentā question and people expressing their opinion just seems a bit too much to me. Because while we all work hard to keep the forums alive, it still makes me feel bad when I see people being so upset over a simple idea/suggestion, especially if the confessor apologized already. Thereās no real need to drag this out even more.
Iāve seen multiple people be too scared to share their ideas and opinions for exactly this reason. Theyāre scared of causing such a reaction for their innocent requests and ideas, which they usually only mean in a good way.
Sadly, this discussion is very unequal because we only know one of the people involved (who is by the way the owner of the forums, which probably makes it even more unequal, because if the person disagrees, they could just get banned or hated) while the other is still anonymousā¦
So maybe re-read the forum rules before you make an anonymous confession next time, anonymous person? Because I understand why Shannii felt this way, so it could be rad if you tried not to upset her by posting something against the rules next time 
And donāt make it sound like they want to personally attack you with their suggestions, Shannii? They probably just wanted to see what the community would think of the idea. Maybe they arenāt even a member of this community, so they donāt deserve that much attention for something like this
TL DR: both overreacted imo. Read the forum rules before posting confessions and donāt take everything too personally.
Time to mute this again, because this short part alone proved how toxic this thread has become for everyone involved 
~ waddles away ~
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It wouldnāt be a personal attack if it was a suggestion. Instead, they chose to do something that would replace the forums. Thatās not a suggestion. Thatās rivalry. Thatās saying āI can do it better than youā. While they didnāt mean that, they need to understand that, after everything Iāve explained in terms of why we need traffic, why I donāt allow advertisement of rival forums etc, they shouldnāt have posted what they said.
In many of the original replies ā MANY ā people said that the confessor should have suggested ways to improve the forums instead of advertising something to replace our RP community.
I want you to just think about a single time when Iāve ever gotten offended at a legit, honest to God suggestion on how to make the forums better. I try my best to implement any suggestions and explain if I canāt. I have never ONCE had a problem with people suggesting things. Even when a group of people criticised my character and said I had changed and power had gone to my head blah blah blah, my response was to open an anonymous suggestions form where people could ask for suggestions, not to attack them.
Suggesting is one thing. Jeopardising the forums is another. If people are afraid of advertising rival forums, thatās good. Let them be afraid. But please donāt pretend that suggestions and competition are the same thing.
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Because acting like they were suggesting things and I just came along and overreacted to that is completely unfair to my reaction. If they had suggested things, we wouldnāt be in this situation. Acting like this was anything to do with suggestions is warping the situation and making me seem unreasonable in my response.
Let people be afraid for using my property to advertise a rival. As I said, itās like trump putting up trump flags in Bidenās garden. Itās wrong. It goes against personal property.
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And again. The person said something about mental health and how the response hurt theirs. But when I explain why their post was poorly timed and in poor taste in relation to MY mental health and personal problems ā mental health that Iāve always been very upfront with ā itās a problem?
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And on top of that, most of what I said today with regards to mental health was about people opening old wounds in a way that clearly triggered me once. Plus, clearly trying to force me to put someone elseās feelings before my own when I donāt know who they are so I canāt tell if theyāre genuine or not.
Many people use the anonymous forms to hurt other peopleās feelings. But when people come along with hindsight, they act like I should have reacted with that hindsight that didnāt exist when I responded in the first place.
What I mean by that is simple: most of the people are saying I overreacted AFTER the confessor apologised. Theyāre seeing my reaction as an overreaction with the context of the apology. I didnāt have that context and people canāt expect me to predict the future.
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This is the original confession. They have a clear idea/suggestion for what they want to do and what is lacking for them on here.
This is how you could look at it to see a clear suggestion for a way to change up the Rp subforum. If you could implement this on here, there would be no need to create a new forum for them.
Maybe thatās just the way I see things, but if you just eliminate the word forum, youād get a valid suggestion, which you could think about implementing, if you (and the to community) liked it.
Just look at the idea, not at the way itās talked about.
I must have missed this confession, because I just scanned through whatās going on. Thatās not okay of course if they do the same to you in return. No one should worsen anyoneās mental health.
And I was not talking about people being scared of advertising. I was talking about people being scared of suggesting forum features or changes to the way stuff on here is dealt with. Maybe the way I presented it was unclear, but I never meant to say that people should advertise on here, just that they should be less scared to suggest improvements. 
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And finally: Iām gonna confess to my own struggles in a confessions thread. Since it seems no one bloody listens to me when I put it elsewhere, I think Iām entitled to use this just like everyone else ā to say Iām sick of people treating me like my feelings should be pushed aside more than someone I canāt know the intentions of.
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I never asked you to do this. But the way some people reacted to the confessor made their feelings sound invalid, which would be bad too.
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I am under no obligation to react well to someoneās āsuggestionā if it very clearly impacts and hurts the forums. No one needs to be a genius to realise it would do that.
So conflating that with suggestions on the forums and implying that people would be unfair to make suggestions on the forums because I react badly to people putting the forums at risk is both unfair and illogical. Theyāre two very different ideas. Iām open to people suggesting changes for the forums. I will never be open to people suggesting people just change forums completely and I am completely in my right to react badly to that.
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The truth is that most people on here see you more as the admin of a site than a person. They expect you to separate your emotions from your business. That would be more professional, but of course, they canāt expect you to have no feelings at all.
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I donāt think you did do that. But I think by acting like I somehow needed to predict the apology and not get upset with the confessor demands that I put their feelings above my own. I can only do that with people when I know who they are so I can judge their post based on other stuff Iāve seen of them
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Hey, if this was a business where I made money instead of a hobby where I lost money, maybe they could expect that of me
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But Iām a person and my feelings are just as valid as anyone elseās. In fact, you all know me and you know how my personality is, so the people trying to force me to put an anonymous persons feelings above mine should give ME the benefit of the doubt, knowing that Iām always open to suggestions on how to make the forums better.
Now, if the person had made this about wanting a sub-forum, that would have been different. But they canāt make a sub-forum on here without one of the admins, so clearly theyāre talking about setting up a rival place. I donāt need to see the good in that because it threatens my forums
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People do listen, a lot of people care about how you feel and constantly read your threads. There are so many people on the forums who do care about your mental health. Just because someone didnāt read the rules or wasnāt aware, it doesnāt automatically mean that people donāt care. Sometimes people donāt bother with the rules.
And also, nobody is obligated to read your confessions, but youāre free to post them. Not everyone will care, and itās always going to be like that in life. There will always be people who care about you though, youāre not alone.
Honestly, I think this is too much of drama for someone who just wanted to make another forum. It didnāt seem like they had bad intentions. Multiple people have advertised other forums/discord servers, but they just got reminded of the rules. Just because the person is anonymous, it wasnāt really right to treat them differently. Anonymous confessors have feelings too, and so do you. Iām not trying to invalidate your feelings, I perfectly understand why you reacted that way, but this is my opinion.
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I agree. When dealing with forum matters, I believe people should stay professional and leave their emotions aside.
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But you want the forums to become your business, right? So you should start treating them like a business so people will see how serious you are about it
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Ahhhh, I see.
You guys know the anonymous confessor
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Not at all. Iām just speaking from my perspective. I donāt know neither the confessor nor Shannii personally.
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