[color="lightsteelblue”]”I don’t know what to do- No! I’m not being a dck, he will be here… So what? I can’t do that when… Does… She like him, like… For real? I know… Anna, I can’t… do that,”[/color] did he say Anna? Was Dorian standing on his balcony at 3 am talking to his best friend’s twin sister about his best friend? Yes, he was. Now, how did he get into this situation? Do you know that saying desperate times call for desperate measures? It was something like that, but we can say the two of them were… friendly, so it wasn’t that strange. And this wasn’t the first time he called her over something like this… Who would’ve guessed Dorian would be going to Anna for advice? [color="lightsteelblue”]”God, lower your voice, you’ll wake up whole London… And Miami,”[/color] resting his elbows on the railing while his face was now buried in his hands, his phone was on the little table next to him. If his neighbors were out like he was, they’d be listening to one confusing but interesting conversation. [color="lightsteelblue”]”I don’t know why I called you if I’m going to say no to your ideas, HOW RUDE OF ME - FINE, you want me to just say break up with him because I’m in love with you? Okay, I’m… I’m not doing that,”[/color] a sigh leaving his lips, Dorian picked up his phone before going back inside and closing the door behind him. ”I can’t do that if he… If she’s happy. Anna, I can’t tell her that… I’ll think about it, I just… I have to go now,” with those words Dorian hung up the phone and let his back hit the bed. This is going to be one looong week because in two days his best friends is coming to visit him with her new boyfriend.
* * *
”Oh fckkkk off,” stepping out of the elevator of his apartment building, Dorian was met with a… Little note. On the board with all the announcements and sht, there was a note he only now noticed when he was on his way to pick up his best friend from the airport… Just Jessica, and it was basically asking their neighbor to respect the quiet hours and not break up with people at 3 am on the balcony for everyone to hear or they’d have to act up on it if it happens again. First of all, that was not what was happening and second of all… Fck that. Grabbing the paper with his free hand in which he was not holding a SpongeBob sign, Dorian threw it in the bin before existing the building.
It was time. It was finally time and in a while Dorian hasn’t felt as nervous as he was feeling now, but of course he still felt a tiny bit of happiness. There was a reason it was only ting bit - his best friend would be coming alone now so it meant Dorian wouldn’t have to meet Trevor and have his heart completely crushed, he was finally going to see Jessica again and pick her up from the airport like old times but…. There has to be a but. Dorian wouldn’t have to meet Trevor now, Trevor as in the boyfriend of a girl he was still in love with and couldn’t admit and he was going to pick up that same girl he was in love with like old times except things were completely different now. No more old times… It should be like that, you know? No more old times and no more stupid SpongeBob signs but… Some things just stick with you and some things you just can’t let go off. Some feelings are not that easy to get rid of… That’s why he started preparing that sign the moment he found only Jessica was arriving and he wouldn’t make things awkward with it, not like… Not like things would be awkward, it was just… A sign. A stupid thing friend would do for his friend but… Dorian didn’t want to be just a friend and that stupid sign meant a lot more to him than people might see.
He even lied and pretended he was busy so she would think he wouldn’t be there picking her up… But even with everything planned out Dorian was still late because he had lovely fans and they demanded his attention so how could he say no to that? He has a reputation he needs to keep… And everything was fun until he heard her voice. [color="lightsteelblue”]” Jess I thought… wait no your flight doesn’t land until… Twenty minutes ago. Fck. I’m so sorry, I had this whole plan and this sign,”[/color] and until she was standing there in front of him, his sign on the ground. It didn’t take long for him to start walking towards her and pull her in for a hug, a smile playing on his lips.
[color="5b5b73”]”Hi.”[/color]
[color="lightsteelblue”]”Hi.”[/color]
[color="5b5b73”]”Hi.”[/color]
Hey… That… Was their other thing…. Take a deep breath iiiiiiiiiiiin…… aand ouuuuuuut. [color="lightsteelblue”]”Hi.”[/color] He hesitantly said as he pulled back, trying to keep his smile up. ”N… No. You’re not driving.”
* * *
The past 4 days have been… Well, everything Dorian was expecting but still wishing he could avoid because… It just hurt. He could play her best friend, he could play cool and chill but at the end of the when he goes to bed things were not chill and cool. Her coming to his bed to just talk was not fun. Her falling asleep there and leaving him awake to his thoughts was not fun. Her laying on the couch next to him this night while watching a movie, her head on his chest was not fun. But what could he really do about it? Well Anna told him what he should do but he couldn’t do that to Jess… He couldn’t be the one to ruin things when she seemed happy. [color="5b5b73”]”You know you’re a bloody cheat right? You’ve never been good at poker, so I don’t believe that you beat me three times, darling. Yes please laugh, darling when I have such a good position of kicking you in the b^lls,”[/color] or could he? Here is the thing… Dorian was… fine this way, he had his best friend and they were still doing things they’d usually do no matter how… Wrong it might now. But he wasn’t happy. He wasn’t happy playing pretend and putting himself in this position where he couldn’t say anything. He’d rather not be her friend anymore than do… This. He’d rather not hear from her again than pretend he’s happy to hear her voice whenever he picks up her calls… No matter how cruel that would be. It’s easier to move on with life when you don’t constantly have that reminder. ”Jess… ignoring the kicking my b^lls thing…”
If only he knew exactly what he wanted to say. I can’t do this. I can’t be just your friend… I want more. Yeah, that was lame. ”I’ve been wanting to tell you something for the last few days,” but it was as if the universe was telling him to not be a jerk and let her be… because at that moment there was a knock on the door… And if he wasn’t doing the right thing by saying what was on his mind, why was he so disappointed when Jessica stood up and went to open the door? Okay… This will give him a few seconds to think about his next words, maybe he’ll even just… Not say anything and come up with something funny… That… No… This was his chance, right?
Wrong.
He didn’t even have to look back to see who was standing at the door and why Jess sounded so happy and excited. You know that thing when you’re feeling like your whole world is collapsing? Dorian couldn’t really compare that to this because he wasn’t losing anything now, he lost it a long time ago but it still made him freeze. All along Dorian was saying how he couldn’t wait to meet Trevor but that was far from the truth… How are you expecting him to happy about meeting Jessica’s boyfriend when just seconds ago he wanted to confess his feelings? It’s… fine. Life is fine… Everything is… just… fcking fine. He completely blocked out everything that was happening around him until he sensed that someone was coming up to him so with all the strength he had inside of him, Dorian forced the friendliest smile as he stood up and faced the last person he wanted to be standing in front of. Trevor. ”I’d be concerned if that wasn’t your reaction. It’s nice to finally meet you … Jess has told me many great things about you.”
* * *
but don’t be p!ssed off if I hate your husband, 'cause even when I can’t say "love ya, " I love ya
To be continued.
@/benitz786