*“Sure but ex-wife bragging rights just doesn’t have the same pull as wife bragging rights. All your fans are just gonna be like ‘if I had him, I wouldn’t let him go,’ and sh!t like that, and of course I’ll argue that I’ve seen you naked, but it just doesn’t hit the same you know,”
”Hmmmm okay good point you got there, but it’s still better than nothing” he told her at the very philosophical conversation on ex wife/wife bragging rights (very philosophical)
“With all the boobs you signed that day, what was it about mine that made you almost throw me out?”
”The absence” he said ”The absence of what is an open question, is it you? Is it your boobs? Guess you’ll never know” he said with a raised brow at her question. It wasn’t about the boobs, but making fun of those was always fun. Especially when thinking of times she hurt him and trying not to think of that so he could stay as light weighted and in a good mood as he could, even though he knew it wasn’t her fault, at the time it hurt like a b!tch.
”Hey being a popular McDonald’s meal is my thing go get your own.” he said briefly turning his head in her direction as he spoke, protecting his legacy like a boss ”Also true, I am the vampire but if I bite you, you turn into a vampire too, so as a snack I’m pretty sure that’s part of the job description you know”
”You can have all the visitation right you want, no custody though, he’s still mine” he said ”Boy loves you more than he loves Nora I think you’re good on the visitation part” he laughed
“B!tch there are two tattoos on your body just for me. I think that counts for VIP. I don’t need to sneak in. I am the list,”
”Okay okay you get the coconut bra, don’t stab me I’m not immortal like you” he joked, shaking his head
”Yeah maybe sticking to Drake would be better in this part” he laughed ”No McSperm tho, it’s too good to be out there as an official. Humanity isn’t ready” he added, somewhat dramatically joking at the last part
“We’ve had a lot of crazy nights huh?”
”Don’t talk like this is goodbye, I already told you you’re not getting rid of me” he said with a sigh at the first part. ”We sure did tho”
As they got to the McDonald’s the two got off the bike, and Andy couldn’t help but keep worrying about his injured friend ”Whatever you say helpless kitten” he responded to her rolling his eyes.
Going to a McDonald’s was always funny because what else could Jess do if not brag about the man behind the meal to the poor overwhelmed cashier, let me tell you that, it was always entertaining.
”Hey” he said as she sort of introduced him. Photos with the boss, handshakes, but hey they get free food for that so no complaints here
”Does not sound fun I’ll avoid that sh!t while I can “ he said about the diet, though it wasn’t really a choice ”Hey watch your language missy, my d!ck is not little” he stated pointing his finger out ”No lying in McDonald’s it’s a holy ground” he shook his head ”Andy McBobble is a good one tho”