Discussion: Would you ever forgive a bully?

Thanks for being kind n.n

Im sorry all that happened to you i hope your a lil okay now

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Iā€™m wayyy better now then I ever was before, after I told my friend I left school and did online and after a year of being away from people I became so relaxed and I felt safe again. (I didnā€™t go to online school cause of bullies, I had really bad social anxiety so being alone really helped me)

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Glad your alright. :slightly_smiling_face:

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:blue_heart:

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True! Thatā€™s why you need to be careful. You know how they say, Forgive, but never forget?

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I mean i can forgive them but i will never forget what they did

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not everyone deserves to be forgiven

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Maybe yes or no? I mean I could forgive them if they realized what they did was bad and they sincerely changed.
Lol Iā€™m that type of person once you messed up or hurt me UNLESS I really do love and trust you, I most likely donā€™t like you or wonā€™t anytime soon :see_no_evil:

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Really depends on what they did to me. But at the same time Iā€™m not one to hold a grudge but Iā€™m more on the will forgive but wonā€™t forget train ya know.

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noā€¦ I would give the bully another chance to prove themselfs but they better donā€™t dare to think that I just forget

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Being a good Christian Iā€™m supposed to.

I did. And he literally went and destroyed me all over again. A Lepord never changes its spots so noā€¦not now. I donā€™t think I can forgive a bully.

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I would say it depends on what level of bullying they took it to.
I am very stubborn and so I tend to refuse to forgive someone who seeks to cause me, or those I love/care about, harm as I want to protect them, and myself.
However I have a bad past with someone who was stalking me and outwardly seeking to hurt me, although I never said to her face, I forgive you, I never want to see her again to be honest. Butā€¦ I moved on, I didnā€™t forgive her for herā€¦ I forgave her for me. I moved on with my life, and whilst what happened there has still left me with issues that I have to move forward with and take time to get over, I donā€™t want to carry the resentment and anger I felt towards her, with me too.

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In general yeah I would but put it this way, most of the people who bullied me are not the type to apologize nor have they shown any sign of changing their ways.

If they changed and felt remorse then definitely yes because I know nobody is perfect and we all say and do stuff we regret but at the same time there are people who really take advantage of that and just act exceptionally horrible.

Even Iā€™ve said and done things I regret but Iā€™ve never been a bully, I donā€™t understand how you can do that kind of thing to another person. If they mature and change that still doesnā€™t change what they did but at least they wonā€™t do it to anybody else because theyā€™ve changed their ways and had to live with the guilt.

So yeah I would forgive them because they probably canā€™t forgive themselvesā€¦

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Why do ppl always try to empathsize wth the bully(they had a bad home life/there hurting/(any other excuse))
But not the victimn?

It seems ppl always try to see things from the bullys perspectiveā€¦

And no one talks about lasting effects bullying has to the victimns of it in adulthood

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Depends if they want forgiveness

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Normally I believe in second chancesā€¦But I wouldnā€™t forvige my bullies. They gave me the worst years of my life and changed me a lot.
Iā€™ll always be kind with them, because they grew and changed a little bit I think (Sometimes I met them because we have some friends in common), but Iā€™ll never forgive them :sweat_smile:

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Iā€™m gonna post my thoughts from Episode because I still stand by what I said:

I can never forgive my bully. Ever.

My bullying lasted for years and it took even more years for me to undo the pain caused by it.
When I saw my bully again at my new school after they had left my old school, my stomach dropped.

When I confronted them, they denied bullying me.

I can never forgive them for myself because the damage has already been done. I can never forgive them because they do not deserve it.

Second chances are for mistakes. You donā€™t accidentally ruin someoneā€™s life.

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My thoughts exactly!

Bullies can never be forgiven. What they have done to us can trigger really bad memories; especially when youā€™re suffering badly from PTSD. Not to mention, bullies are way too selfish that they donā€™t want to admit that theyā€™re bullies.

It does not help that some people always blame the victim with nonsense like:

  • You asked for it
  • You let them bullied you
  • Why donā€™t you just fit in?
  • I always knew that youā€™re weird

The list goes on!

Do you ever wish that you can go back to the day you wish you never met these people? Thatā€™s what I thought too.

Say it loud & clear to the people at the back!

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My answer is clear!

NO

They donā€™t deserve it, idc about if it makes you feel better to just forgive them, well i wonā€™t, i will feel good as heck and thatā€™s how I move on, by not forgive and forget. F*** 'em.

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I agree. I donā€™t think bullies deserve forgiveness either! Honestly, forgiving someone can lead to wanting more revenge tbh. Trust me, I feel that all the damn time! Especially when you have PTSD.

Like you wouldnā€™t want to forgive your rapist, right? Then of course, bullies donā€™t really deserve our forgiveness if they took bullying way too far that leaves you a huge hole in your heart.

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