i don’t owe a man or a woman or any other person a child and that doesn’t make me selfish. i don’t owe a child that doesn’t even exist a life
that’s now what i’m insinuating, they can be the people they want to be, but when i say i want them to have my values, the ones that were passed down from my father, it means that they can be and do whatever they want. But they should grow up knowing how to be the most successful in life (in everything, career, happyness, friends etc)
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When i said that at first, it was just to think about it, the point isn’t to guilt trip, the point is to think about what i said
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but what if the child wants to have their own life or their own morals and values? do you only want to breed children for the sole purpose of them being like you?
i already said that, at the end of the day, it’s your choice
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A lot of men… like some I know clearly don’t know even that much. 
whether you think it is guilt tripping or not, don’t call people selfish for not wanting kids. they shouldn’t feel bad for not seeing your way of life. that’s gaslighting
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i don’t even think some men should have a right to tell a woman she’s selfish for not having kids. she’s the one giving birth, all they do is need to give their sperm lmao
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That’s true. Instead of it being “selfish” for people to not want kids, it’s selfish to try and push your views on others by making them seem like bad people.
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what i wanted to say is, don’t you think it’s unfair that you don’t let your unborn child experience the greatness of life? the one you are experiencing right now? I only said that to make people think about that point, not to guilt trip or whatever. Plus, we’re just speaking in general right now, i don’t see why you jump to conclusions as if i SAID “yep, everyone’s supposed to be a caregiver”. I don’t want you to think that i’m here to insult the way people are or the decisions they make, so i don’t see why you had to say rhat comment.
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having a child is 50/50 without the sperm, you can’t get the child. Without a woman, you can’t bring a child to life.
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And that’s an important point.
If a man really thinks having kids is important, he can adopt. But to call people who don’t want kids even though they can provide selfish is absurd.
And it’s no one’s fault either that that man wanted a biologically kid of his own but can’t find a woman who will provide. Making a fuss about it won’t change anything. They have other options besides having a child that’s biologically yours. Adoption and other forms of child interaction.
f-ck no, the child isn’t even a child. you’re basing this on an idea of a child that doesn’t even exist?
if i didn’t want kids, i shouldn’t have someone else making me feel bad for making that choice all because you feel like i’m being selfish.
and i’m speaking in general, too. nobody lives to be a caregiver. that’s not the meaning of life and that’s definitely not the meaning of mine, too. so i still stand by what i said
also – you never answered this:
don’t you think it’s selfish to only want to bring a life just so they can follow your values?
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I see where you’re coming from. But I didn’t ask them to birth me. The onus of having a child is solely on THEM.
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Here’s your warning, no tone policing. Do it again and it will have to be a flag.
Please refer to this thread that explains the tone-policing rule:
https://forum.shanniiwrites.com/t/shanniiexplains-no-tone-policing/11342
want kids because you enjoy kids. not so they can be another version of a human you want them to be
that would be selfish. they should enjoy life, right? the greatness of it. so don’t set expectations on how you want them to be. let them live and enjoy the beautiful life, so don’t have kids to solely have your values
and can you stop tone policing me? that’s against the guidelines. you’ve been warned twice now
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it’s not just for that, it’s so they can experience the greatness in life, but, I want them to have the best time they can while they live, that’s why i wanna give them my values
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People should always consider that factor before having a kid. A child is a lifetime commitment. If you’re not ready for that responsibility, it can backfire both ways – both on the parent and the child.
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